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| Crosses and Holy Water |
Okay, crosses and holy water have little effect on vampires outside of church. Inside, it’s a whole other story. The sight of a cross does not repel us. It doesn’t cause us to cringe. However, a cross with a pointed end driven into a vampire’s chest will have an impact. Of course, that same cross driven into a human’s chest will have an identical effect.
Holy water will ruin a hairstyle or makeup, leave watermarks on silk, and smudge ink. But other than that it poses no issues for a vampire. |
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In church it’s a different story. I don’t know why. I think it’s all the holy rolling that occurs behind the doors or maybe it’s the automatic guilt thing that that Catholic Church lays on you. But whatever it is, it feels crappy and makes your insides tighten up. You sort of feel like you might puke and explode at the same time, which would be quite rude and embarrassing, not to mention disgusting.
I’ve never been in a synagogue. I’d have to ask a formerly Jewish vampire to enter a synagogue and tell me how he feels. I’m not trying it. I was Catholic and know the church thing doesn’t work for me. Jesus was a Jew so I’m going to assume the synagogue has the same effect. Let me know, if any of you is willing to take one for the team to confirm my assumption. |
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Vampires love to count.
I love this one. And do you know why? Well, let me tell you. The idea that if you throw mustard seeds or salt or a handful of any grain down in a vampire's path, he will stop chasing you to count is hysterical. What do you think, vampires all have an obsessive-compulsive disorder or that we're all mindless twits who can be sidetracked with some spilled salt? We won't bother to count the grains on the floor. We won't even bother to count the ones left clinging to you after we've dragged you through the mess.
We can count. And we do count. But we don't stop to count when we're on the hunt. |
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Mirrors
Of course we can see ourselves. Don't be stupid. Sorry, don't be silly. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Didn't mean to insult you. No question is stupid.
That's not true. Some questions are really stupid. The one about vampires having no reflection in a mirror is not one of them, especially considering that Bram and others have told you that we have no reflection.
Although I've addressed this on Twitter, I'll say it again. We do have reflections. How else would we put on our makeup? Have you ever tried to put on mascara without a mirror? It's not possible, but it is painful.
In many respects vampires are very similar to humans. We get up with bed-head, need to primp so that you'll think we're sexy and very few of us ever go out into the night not knowing with absolute certainty that we look fantastic.
Believe me. The "no reflection in a mirror" thing is totally false. It was a good myth. Had you going for a while, didn't it?
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Garlic
It Stinks. That's it. |
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Many an annoyed vampire has eaten the entire garlic strand hanging from a door, window or neck before washing it down with a nice...Well, you know.
Sleeping in Coffins
What are you, crazy? Who the hell would sleep in a coffin? Yeah, it used to happen. But that was because there was no place else to hide during the day and be assured that no human would disturb you. Seriously, even an undertaker doesn't want to open a coffin he just happens to stumble upon. We sleep in beds, usually. Comfy beds with pillows and sheets and blankets. Oooh, some vampires have those curtains that hang from the canopy. It's very romantic.
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We, my husband and me, happen to have a larger than king-sized bed with lots of pillows, no curtains. Satin sheets—
sometimes red, sometimes gold, sometimes royal blue, depends on the mood. I will admit that I have on a number of occasions not slept in the bed for reasons I'd rather not discuss at this point. (I hardly know you people.)
I have had to stoop to the level of sleeping in dirty, cold, damp places that weren't comfy. I slept alone those days. Let's just leave it at that.
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